Bullies and Buddies Read online

  “Errr… I have a friend that is getting bullied. And I wanted to ask you what he should do…”

  “Tell that young man to talk to me this instant! I’ll have a meeting with these bullies and their parents. And if we have to, we will suspend them from school!”

  All I could think about was Mike and Mutant dedicating their entire lives to getting revenge on me for getting them suspended from school.

  “Uh… Ms. Bones… It’s not a big deal. I just heard about it from another friend, who heard it from his friend, who heard it about a Zombie in another school. I’ll be sure to tell them what you said.”

  So I chickened out.

  It was a good thing I did too.

  On my way home, I ran into Mike and Mutant again.

  Mike said, “I saw you stay after class and talk to Ms. Bones. You weren’t talking about me and Mutant, were you?”

  “Because, if you were, things would get extremely painful for you…” Mike said, smiling.

  All Mutant would do is stand there and grunt. “Urrrrggghhhh.”

  “I didn’t say anything. I swear! I was just looking for more extra credit homework to do…”

  “Well, you better not. Otherwise my friend Mutant over here will use your legs as chopsticks, and your arms as toothpicks. Got it?!!!”

  “Yeah… I got it. He, he… I’ll be going now…” I said.

  As I walked away, I could see Mike and Mutant staring at me all the way home.

  Boy, am I in trouble.

  Later that night, I thought about asking my Dad what he would do.

  Dads are cool like that.

  And my Dad looked like the kind of person bullies would pick on at school.

  I went into Dad’s office and I asked him, “Hey Dad, how do you handle bullies?”

  “Why, son? Is someone bullying you at school?” Dad asked.

  “No, no. I have a friend that has a friend that knows this boy in another school that…Err…thinks he’s being bullied.”

  “Well, son, I had my share of bullying when I was a kid. Come to think of it, it used to happen a lot actually.”

  “How did it stop?” I asked him.

  “Oh, my Dad got a new job in another Biome, so we moved to another school.”

  Great. Now I have to join a witness protection program and get relocated, I thought.

  “But if you want to handle bullies, the best thing to do is to stand up to them and show them you’re not afraid. When they realize you are not easy to push around, they usually leave you alone.”

  I just imagined standing up to Mike Magma and Mutant.

  I imagined telling them, “You are not going to bully me anymore!”

  Then I imagined Mutant stepping on me and using my remains as a rag to wipe his big forehead.

  “Does that help son?” Dad asked.

  “Sure, Dad. Thanks,” I said, as I walked away thinking about my life as a sweat rag.

  Thursday

  To take my mind off of my bully problem, I thought about Slimey’s birthday party coming up this weekend.

  I really love birthday parties at Slimey’s house.

  His parents go all out.

  But best of all, they’re going to have lots of cake!

  My favorite part of the party is always the Piñata.

  They always make it into cool shapes.

  The Ghast Piñata

  This year they made it into the shape of a Ghast.

  We get to stuff tissue in our eye sockets and then whack the Piñata with a stick.

  One time, we stuffed one of the fat Zombie kids full of candy, and then whacked him with a stick.

  It was the funniest thing ever.

  The Zombie fat kid was laughing, too, so I guess it didn’t hurt.

  As I was getting ready this morning, though, I was shocked.

  My face was full of the biggest pimples you ever saw!

  But the part that shocked me most was that one of my pimples was shrinking!

  Oh man, all of the kids at school are going to see and they’re going to tease me.

  “You look like you got a patch of human skin on your face,” They’re going to say.

  Or, “Whoa, look at the size of that pimple! It’s so small. Man, I would hate to be you.”

  I bet Sally is going to see it, and she’s going to treat me like I got “Hooties.” (Hooties are human cooties by the way.)

  I rummaged through the medicine cabinet to see if I had any pimple growing cream.

  All I saw was Mom’s make-up kit.

  Maybe I can add some make-up to my face to make it look like my pimple is bigger.

  I put on everything I could find. But the pimple was still small!

  I got an idea, and I got some glue and a marble.

  I glued the marble on top of the small pimple, and added make-up on top of it.

  Yeah, that’ll do it, I thought.

  I just have to keep my head really still until the glue dries. So, no sudden moves and I’ll be OK.

  “Hey Honey. Wants some breakfast?” my Mom yelled.

  “Sure, what are we having?” I said as I came downstairs.

  “Zombie eggs and Mooshroom stew.”

  “Again? Man, just for once I would like to have cake for breakfast.”

  “What’s that on your face?” Mom asked.

  “Uh… I was scratching my pimples a lot yesterday to see if I could get them to grow. And one of them grew really big.”

  “Don’t scratch them too much or you might pop them. Remember, you want them to be nice and ripe, and full of pus,” Mom said. “You want to look your best for the party this weekend, don’t you?”

  “Sure. OK. Mom.”

  I tried to keep my head still as I walked to school.

  I was trying to balance myself with my books in one hand and my lunch bag in my other hand.

  I was doing pretty good when all of a sudden; I felt something next to my leg.

  I wanted to look down, but I couldn’t move my head or the marble would pop out.

  Something crawled up my pants leg and into my shirt.

  I tried to move around a little bit, but the marble on my face started coming off.

  Oh, Man… What is that?

  It felt small and fluffy.

  And it was fast. I tried grabbing it with my hand in front, but it moved to my back.

  All of a sudden, I saw some white, long fluffy ears in front of my face. Then I saw two beady red eyes looking at me.

  “IT’S THE KILLER RABBIT!!!”

  “KILLER RABBIT!!! KILLER RABBIT!!”

  I started running around in circles, waving my arms, and screaming.

  The Killer Rabbit grabbed my lunch then took off into the bushes.

  I picked up my books and ran to school.

  I got there late, so I ran straight into class.

  Next thing I know all of the kids and Ms. Bones are staring at me.

  Then one of the kids yelled out: “CRATER FACE!!!”

  Then all of the kids start laughing.

  Even Ms. Bones started laughing.

  I ran out of class and straight to the bathroom.

  I looked in the mirror and I saw a volcano on my face!

  I had put so much glue on that when the marble came out, it looked like I had a lunar crater on my face.

  I tried to scrape off the glue, but it was too hard.

  Worst of all, I had to go back to class, and look like this all day.

  It was the most terrible, horrible, no good, worst day…Ever!

  Friday

  I woke up this morning and I ran to the mirror.

  I was doomed.

  My pimple was gone. All that was lef
t was a big space where my pimple used to be.

  I guess this means I’m not going to Slimey’s party tomorrow.

  I walked down to breakfast, and my Mom and Dad’s first words were: “Whoa! Son, you’re missing a giant pimple from your face.”

  As if I didn’t know already.

  Then my little brother started poking me in the space where my pimple used to be.

  “Stop it!” I said.

  “Mumma, Dadda—Zombie’s got a hole in his face…”

  “Urrrrgggghhhh!!! Can’t everybody just see that my life is over!” I yelled.

  “Don’t worry, Honey. We’ve all had it happen to us,” Mom said.

  “Maybe you can use some of your Mom’s make-up to cover it up,” Dad said. “You know, when I was a kid, we used to glue marbles on our face and cover it with makeup.” Dad laughed. “The hardest part was waiting for the glue to dry…”

  Oh boy.

  “Don’t worry, honey, it’ll grow back,” Mom said.

  “How long is it going to take, Mom?” I said.

  “Oh…about a week.”

  Oh boy…

  I tried to use every trick in the book to keep from going to school.

  But my parents weren’t buying it. So off I went to school with a big hole on my face.

  When I got to school, I was already getting looks from everybody.

  One guy looked at me like I had two heads.

  Which was funny because he had two heads…

  I guess I’ve got to get used to being treated like some weirdo, and all because my skin is clearing up.

  I wonder if Steve ever goes to through this.

  Probably not.

  Anyway, before I got to class, my ghoulfriend, Sally, stopped me.

  She had a big bandage on her face.

  I asked her if she got another operation.

  But she told me that her face started clearing up too.

  She thinks she got it from her cousin who came to visit her. And she thinks she gave it to me.

  “How long does it last?” I asked Sally.

  “Just two days,” she said.

  Then she handed me a bandage to put on my face.

  “Just tell everybody we were in a bike accident,” she said.

  Sally is the best ghoulfriend a Zombie could have.

  So all through school, kids were asking me what happened.

  “I was in a motorbike accident,” I said. “Yeah, me and Sally were doing about 100 miles an hour, when all of a sudden the bike got away from me. We were lucky to survive. Just a few scratches on our face.”

  Worked like a charm.

  Kids thought I was the coolest thing since sliced moldy bread.

  Having a ghoulfriend really does improve your street credit.

  Especially in middle school.

  Saturday

  I woke up this morning and guess what?

  My pimple came right back bigger, fatter and filled with juicy pus and everything!

  I was so happy.

  Now I can hold my head up high. Not to mention I can go to Slimey’s party without having to wear a bandage on my face.

  I made it to Slimey’s party and all the kids were already there.

  I looked for Slimey, and he was taking pictures with Skelee.

  “Wassup?” I said.

  “Wassup?” Slimey said back. Then we burst out laughing.

  “Hey, is Creepy coming today?” I said.

  “Yeah, he should be here in a little while. I think his Mom took him to buy a suit for the party.

  “Where’d they go?” I asked

  “I think they went to the Bomb Supply store to get one,” Slimey said.

  “Cool. Any cake left?”

  “Yeah, we got a whole lot. My Mom and Dad really went all out,” Slimey said.

  Well, everything at the party was going great.

  Until…

  Mike Magma, Slimey’s cousin, showed up with Mutant.

  Oh brother. Here we go again.

  I guess they couldn’t tell him to leave because he was a part of Slimey’s family.

  But this time, Mike brought a gift for Slimey.

  Slimey was touched and actually thought Mike had changed his ways.

  But when Slimey opened the box, there was a kiddie pool inside.

  “Go ahead, blow it up,” Mike said, with Mutant standing beside him.

  Slimey blew up the kiddie pool, knowing what Mike was going to do next.

  Mike got a hose and filled the kiddie pool with water.

  Oh man, this was going to be bad.

  “Now get in,” Mike said to Slimey.

  I felt so bad for Slimey, especially because Slimey can’t swim… Even in a kiddie pool.

  Slimey got in the pool and started thrashing around, and calling out for his Mommy and Daddy.

  We all felt so bad for him, but what could we do? Mutant was standing right next to Mike, and if we tried to say something, he would’ve eaten all of us, and then had cake for dessert.

  Slimey’s Mom and Dad ran out and saved him from the kiddie pool.

  By then, Mike and Mutant took their piece of cake and left the party.

  Kinda ruined it for everybody.

  Man, I’ve got to do something about those guys.

  One of these days they’re going to get what’s coming to them…

  Sunday

  I decided to go see Steve today to ask him about my bully problem.

  Steve wasn’t mining when I found him. He had a brewing stand, and he was mixing a bunch of potions together.

  All of a sudden, Kabboooomm!

  The brewing stand blew up in his face.

  “Are you alright, Steve?” I asked him.

  “Cough, cough, cough! Yeah, I’m good. That’s the fifth time today. Sixth time is the charm.”

  “What are you trying to do, anyway?” I asked him.

  “I’m trying to turn cobble stone into diamonds. It sure would make mining so much easier,” he said.

  “Hey, Steve, I have a question to ask you…”

  “Shoot.”

  “Shoot what?” I said.

  “No, I mean sure. Go ahead and ask,” Steve said.

  “Well, have you ever had anybody bully you?”

  “Oh man, a while ago, I was bullied by one of the meanest, ugliest, and dangerous bullies you have ever seen,” Steve told me.

  “Who was he?” I asked, thinking this might help me out!

  “His name was Harry O’Brian. But most of the kids just called him Herobrine, for short.

  Herobrine

  This guy was so mean that he would hurt anyone who looked at him funny.”

  “He used to like to play with fire too, so he used to burn everything up.”

  “So what did you do about him?” I said.

  “I decided to stand up to him.”

  “Really?” I said.

  “I was scared, because I knew he could hurt me,” Steve said. “But I couldn’t stand being bullied anymore. So I told him in a strong voice to ‘Stop!’ And then he stopped, and I never saw him again,” Steve said.

  “Whoa…” I said.

  See, that’s why I like talking to Steve. He’s so tough.

  I just need to be more like Steve.

  You know, I think that is what I’m going to do. I’m going to look like Steve and act like Steve, and this way I am going to be as tough as Steve.

  I’m going to stand up to those bullies once and for all!

  When I got home, I was thinking about the first thing I would do to be more like Steve.

  I was thinking about punching a tree, but I was already missing a few finge
rs, and I didn’t want to lose anymore.

  Or maybe I could collect rocks. But, I’m still not sure what Steve does with them.

  I know what I’ll do. I’m going to cut my hair to look just like Steve.

  I wanted hair like Steve’s

  I got my Dad’s hair clippers, and I started cutting my hair into a block shape.

  It was kind of hard since I didn’t have that much hair on one side of my head.

  But I was determined.

  When I finished, it looked a bit lopsided. But I think it was still cool.

  Afterward, I went down to dinner, and as soon as everyone saw me, they dropped whatever they were holding.

  Then I heard my little brother say, “Mummy, Daddy… It’s Gumby!”

  I guess my hair was a bit more lopsided than I thought.

  “Son, what in the world did you do to your hair?” Mom asked.

  “I wanted to try a new hair style. This is called the blockhead,” I said.

  “The Blockhead? Is that the new style the kids are wearing nowadays?” Dad asked.

  I didn’t have the courage to tell them I was trying to look like Steve, my human friend.

  “Yeah, Dad. It’s really popular,” I said.

  “Are you sure?” Mom asked. “Because it looks a little… Well… Human.”

  “Trust me, Mom,” I said. “I’m one of the coolest kids in school.”

  They both looked at me with a confused look on their face.

  “Gumby, Gumby, Gumby…” was all I heard throughout the rest of dinner.

  Little brothers are so annoying.

  Monday

  I woke up this morning with morning hair.